Everything you need to know about anal fingering – How to finger your ass or your partner’s?

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(Last Updated On: September 4, 2023)

When you’ve tried bondage, sex in public places, and multiple shots, what’s left to do in bed? How about a little anal play? Male taboos seem to be less and less strong on anal. Personally, it took me a while before I dared to try. But since then, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner…

So here’s what you need to know about anal stimulation and fingering.

Does everyone like anal stimulation?

Many men fear that fingering their anus makes them gay. First of all, if being gay is as natural as being born blond or brown, it has nothing to do with simple anal stimulation.

You can dildo your anus every day like a maniac and not be gay if you have no desire for men. Conversely, you can dream of sodomizing other men without having any desire to do so yourself.

Gay, straight and bisexual men all have nerve endings and prostates that allow them to enjoy anal stimulation of all kinds. Sexuality may differ, but biology does not.

Biologically, any man can enjoy anal penetration. Once the psychological barrier is gone, great sensations await you!

Do you want to try anal while you are in a relationship?

In bed, you must leave room for surprise and discovery. Nevertheless, for anal sex, considering the prejudices and the potential pain (when it is badly done or when the person is totally afraid), it is better to talk about it before.

If you are a woman who wants to finger your man’s anus, show him this article to convince him. Show him the possibilities of a prostate stimulator and teach him that the orgasm that comes from using these sex toys is very very strong.

If you’re interested, here’s a great prostate stimulator:

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If you’re a man and you want to ask your wife to try to penetrate you anally, don’t start with a monster belt dildo that would scare her. Start with a small one, some lube and you could for example ask her to put it in your anus while you eat her. By letting herself go, she will get a lot of pleasure without being embarrassed by her actions.

Anal penetration is often easier to introduce if you are a couple who likes to try new things in bed or talk about sex freely.

Finally, if you are a single man who wants to try anal fingering, I want to ask you: what are you waiting for to start?

Preparing before fingering your anus

Whether you’re new to anal play or want to make your man more comfortable with anal fingering, gentle preparation is necessary. If you rush into this type of sex play, it can be uncomfortable or even lead to pain and bleeding. Of course, who would want to try anal fingering again after such an experience? So follow these guidelines for a positive anal fingering experience.

Anal sex shouldn’t hurt. And it does when it’s well prepared and performed!

If you are tense, it will be harder to enjoy anal play. On the practical side, don’t feel like going to the bathroom right beforehand because it might indicate that your anus is not empty. Yes, it sounds dirty, but it will be even worse if you put your finger in without following this advice.

Despite all this preparation, there is still a chance that you may encounter a small amount of fecal matter when providing anal stimulation, but these chances are lower with anal fingering than with the use of a dildo or penis that penetrates further. If necessary, use an enema bulb. It’s radical, but effective.

Take a deep breath and release the tension in your body. Try a relaxing song and some tender gestures to relax you, such as stroking your testicles.

A good position can help you relax. I find that lying down with your legs up is the most practical. With your wife, you can be on all fours like doggy style.

For a finger, there is usually no need for lube. For a dildo, it’s another matter. In any case, if you feel that the anus is too tight, you have to dilate it. I like it when Flora puts a little of her saliva in, but lube is still the most effective.

Most sodomized people are concerned about their personal hygiene, and that’s normal. But, if your lover is the one fingering you, don’t forget her hygiene. For example, nice long fingernails are certainly sexy, but they can irritate your anal wall and make you bleed.

Some people use gloves for better hygiene, but I prefer without. Otherwise, I feel like my doctor is giving me a prostate check…

Lubricant, and lot’s of it!

As mentioned earlier, lube is very effective.

Lube is a must when it comes to anal sex, and you may want to consider it with anal fingering, too. The anus provides no natural lubrication, which can lead to tiny tears and even increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections. You can opt for a water-based lube because it’s cheaper, but these tend to dry out more quickly and become sticky.

Silicone-based lubricants are also compatible with condoms and gloves. They tend to be more fluid but last longer without reapplication, which is perfect for longer sexual sessions. Silicone-based lubricants require soap and water to wash off.

Another lubricant that isn’t often talked about is water. While this is less effective than a real product, it still works. I’ve fingered my anus in the shower before and water made it easier.

Do not go back to front without washing up first

Once involved in anal play, you can’t go back to the front (the genitals) without washing first. Fecal bacterias can cause urinary infections, so avoid it.

Start fingering yourself or your man

Now that you’re cleaned up and/or your partner is ready to explore anal fingering, what can you do?

A man’s anus is one of the most powerful erogenous zones in his body thanks to the prostate. The prostate is located about two inches inside a man’s anus, toward his stomach. You can curl your fingers up during anal fingering, and curved toys work best for prostate stimulation. It’s kind of like a nut, and your man will probably recognize it once you find it or hear him moaning more…

The prostate responds to more pressure than other erogenous zones. Some men like the pressure of a finger, while others just like the feeling of their prostate being squeezed during sex or oral sex. In this case, the use of a plug is very useful. Personally, I like both situations…

If you are psychologically blocked and the anus “doesn’t seem to open”, masturbate your sex and your pleasure will quickly release your blockages. Or, if you are doing it with your girlfriend, ask her to masturbate you or give you oral sex. If you’re standing and she’s sitting or kneeling, it’s very simple to put your penis in her mouth while her hand reaches your buttocks.

Speed up the movements and stay on course

Now that the first finger has passed and you’ve gone back and forth a few times, you should feel the anus getting looser. The difficult penetration of the beginning gives way to fluid movements and you start to enjoy yourself.

I prefer to concentrate on stimulating the prostate. Point your fingers upwards and touch your prostate every time. The pleasure is immense. Then, little by little, speed up the movement. The sensations can bend you in two so well. Don’t hold back.

As the anus is looser, you will surely have the reflex to put more finger. However, this does not mean better stimulation of the prostate, which is what I aim for when I do anal fingering. I often stay at two or even three fingers, but never more. Beyond that, my movements are less controlled.

By continuing, you can reach an orgasm. It happened to me to ejaculate so much that it was strong. While I was not touching my penis, the anal excitement first causes a big erection that goes all the way to orgasm when it is very good.

Go beyond simple anal fingering

Fingering my anus or letting my partner getting close to my ass is a treat. But, as you can imagine, we’re never far from incorporating sex toys into our lovemaking. We love them so much that we almost always bring out a sextoy during our foreplay.

The most classic way to get through the process is to use a dildo for anal. It’s not the best anal sextoy, but it’s easy to use, cheap and allows for different finger movements. Get a curved one so you can point it at your prostate.

You’d be surprised how many women share this desire. In this case, there’s nothing better than a dildo. It took me several months to agree to use one, but I don’t regret it.

Your partner has stronger and deeper movements with her pelvis than with her fingers. If you place yourself well and that these last ones leave a little upwards (and thus, towards the prostate), it is orgasmic. My little tip, do it doggy style and masturbate while your partner takes you. The ejaculation is likely to be abundant and terribly delivering.

Emma Bennet
About Emma Bennet

Hey! Welcome to vibratorguru.com. My goal is to review and rank the top vibrators and sex toys available on the market. That way you can make informed decisions when the time comes for you to choose a safe and enjoyable product.