One of the biggest problems to stalk a relationship is boredom. You may be a couple deeply in love, but hitting a plateau is very difficult to avoid in a relationship. It’s almost natural — you get way too comfortable in the relationship, and things fall into routine. Waking up, doing chores, hitting the gym, getting a coffee, having sex. Before you know it, your love life and by extension, your sex life, has entered the dangerous domain of meh. Break the routine and spice up sex life.
Be it for the sake of adventure or just to break the routine, it’s time to spice up the bedroom. Here are a few ideas and tips for you to try.
1. Spicing Up Your Sex Life With Sex Toys
Sex toys, as I have said several times, do wonders in livening up your sex life, and even libido. Some people think of them simply as tools for masturbation, which is incorrect. A sex toy does not have to be a solo activity. You can invite your partner to join in and get in on the fun together.
Couples can very well use remote control toys that make both partners active participants and even leave room for something kinky like public play. There is a wide variety of toys to choose from, and you can check out my guide to finding the best vibrator. Involve yourself and your partner into the fun, and see what orgasmic wonders you can explore!
Find the best vibrators to spice up your sex life.
Located in US? Find out the highest rating vibrators from Amazon.
2. How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With A Change In Scenery
The change in scenery I’m alluding to is the one where you ditch your bed. Do it on the couch, chair, sofa, living room – anywhere you can think of. Obviously, stay away from public indecency, but you can find plenty of places to have fun that are not your bedroom.
And maybe even take a literal change of scenery. Go on a vacation and rekindle the passion, and spice up the sex life on an exotic getaway. Being away from the stress of the daily job and responsibilities might make it easier for you to break the routine.
3. How To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom 101 — Explore Your Fantasies
Everyone has their fair share of sexual fantasies. If you haven’t already tried, it’s time for you and your partner to open up. Playing out your cherished sexual fantasy is pretty much an aphrodisiac by itself – and the same goes for your partner.
Many women keep their sexual fantasies to themselves thinking that their man might find the idea weird. Men have similar fears, and so a couple that could happily enjoy playing out their fantasies finds themselves stuck in routine sex. Have confidence in your partner and carefully approach the subject. Keep the following things in mind before you play out your fantasies:
- Don’t be judgmental. Be open and considerate to the idea even if you don’t want to play out that particular fantasy. This keeps communication open, rather than making it embarrassing.
- Start with the tamest fantasy. Really. There is no point jumping into the deep end.
- If your partner is uncomfortable with an idea, don’t force it on them.
- Keep it a secret between you and your man. A lot of dudes are positively terrified of women discussing these things with their friends. Obviously, the same is true for women as well.
4. Spice Up Your Sex Life By Playing Dominant Or Submissive
This can as well be an extension of playing out your fantasies and is often very successful at spicing up sex life. However, this specific point is more about a simple change in control for those of you wondering how to spice up the bedroom. In most relationships, one partner is slightly more dominant in the bed than the other. Switch those roles.
If you are the dominant one, let (or encourage) your partner to take the lead, and follow him and his ideas. If you are the submissive one, it’s time to take charge. For the submissive partner to take charge, they should try initiating sex, start with (or hold on to) foreplay, and be the one to initiate a change of position during sex.
5 Learn New Sex Positions To Spice Up Your Sex Life
This is one of the simplest and most effective ways to get the ball rolling. If change of sex positions in your bedroom means going from missionary to doggy-style, you’ve seriously got a lot of work to do. Learn a few new positions to find what you enjoy the most. Experimenting is half the fun. There are plenty of sex positions to consider, and if you’ve wondered how to spice things up in the bedroom, the first thing is to bring something new like a sex position to the mix.
Ease yourself into the new sex position, and unless you’re comfortable and confident of doing it, avoid taking complex positions. Start small, and make things hotter.
6. Dressing Up
Occasionally, make having sex a special occasion and dress up for it. This is one of the simplest things to do for those of you wondering how to spice up your sex life. Just to clarify, by “dressing up” I don’t mean you wear slutty or over-the-top clothing (although don’t write them off either, there’s always room for shaking this up). Wear nice clothes and look your beautiful self. Let the man know you’ve made an effort in dressing up for him and let the dress pique his interest and feelings.
Maybe set up mood lighting and music for the background as well. Strategically placed candles and scents work wonders.
7. Give Him An Amazing Blowjob
One of the things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom is to give her man a killer blowjob. That usually knocks there socks off, and brings in a whole new level of excitement and interest from men. Men love blowjobs and the better you are at them, the more he is interested. There are plenty of techniques and ideas to employ to go from a regular blowjob to one that that blows his mind. I’ll talk about them more in detail with a future article.
8. Talk Dirty And Watch Porn Together To Spice Up The Bedroom
Talking dirty during sex is a turn on for many people. Give it a shot, and if you and your partner enjoy it, make it a regular feature for your carnal pleasures. Many women make the mistake of taking the “dirty talk” cues from porn. Just like several sexual positions and kinks that porn has, the dirty talk is often not one that flies in a real bedroom. A simple trick is to use your own understanding of your partner’s liking and your own comfort zone to draw out the dirty talk.
While we are on the topic of porn, couples should consider watching it together. Women generally do not enjoy watching conventional porn, and you don’t have to go out of your comfort zone to do that one. There is plenty of porn that focuses on women and their preferences, and if you enjoy it, make it a movie night with your man!
9. The Communication Conundrum
I always recommend that couples talk to each other during sex. Make your preferences and desire known to your partner, and be very clear about what you want in bed. Where you want him to touch you, or how much pressure you want, and similar things. Be very clear and communicative to your requirements. If your partner isn’t communicative, encourage him to join in as well, and speak his mind.
And if you are a couple with excellent communication, once in a blue moon, go silent. Remember, we are talking about shaking this up. Put more attention into the guy’s non-verbal cues and use the silence as your guide. Similarly, be more expressive with your own non-verbal cues and watch the man follow them. The closer attention this requires\ and the change from routine can usually be a turn-on for a couple.
10. Never Let Routine Stop You From Spicing Up Your Sex Life
Learning how to spice up your sex life is obviously not something you do once to learn new tips and tricks. It is forever a work in progress. Always learn new things, experiment, and steer clear of the plateau. Boredom is bad not just for your sex life, but for your relationship as well. Learn new “moves” and play out more fantasies. But most of all, remember that you have sex for fun. Adding “spice” is about adding more fun to your bedroom activities, and it should never be a chore.
Conclusion — Things A Woman Can Do To Spice Up The Bedroom
At some point or the other, it is only natural for you to look for ways to spice up your bedroom. The key is to stay away from routine. Spice up your sex life with variety, fun, and finding new things you can do together in bed. Oh, and while surprising your partner can be amazing, ladies, do make sure you talk to your partner before making a big change or doing something new for your sex life.