The Secret Spice – How To Use Ice During Sex

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As the weather gets warmer and people look for more and more creative ways to cool down, you may have seen news articles warning people of the dangers associated with inserting ice lollies inside themselves. Though I would not recommend this, there are other ways to use Ice during sex that could help you cool down while things start to heat up. 

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It’s such a simple tool and a cheap one too. You probably already have ice cubes ready and waiting in your freezer. I’m here to tell you that those ice cubes could add a little spice to your foreplay. Before reaching for the next gadget, try something a little more down to earth. Here’s my guide to bringing some ice cubes into your foreplay. 

ice-woman
Wanna be an ice woman? Read on!

Safety First 

Ice can provide a wide range of sensations and some of these sensations are very close to pain. When it comes to exploring a new sensation in the bedroom, I always recommend easing into it and paying attention to the signals your body is giving you. Don’t push through something if it feels uncomfortable. 

Exposing your body to very cold ice could cause ice burn. Sounds weird I know. However, this can be avoided by making sure that you don’t put ice directly from the freezer and onto your skin. Leave it to sit out for a few minutes and still take things slowly.  

Your body wants to remain at 37°C and puts a lot of work into keeping it that way through process known as Homeostasis. This is why, when we get cold, our hairs stand on end and we shiver. It’s all part of the system our bodies have for keeping us regulated and in balance. That is why we naturally want to avoid extreme cold and extreme heat. 

That discomfort, that thing that makes us sit up and pay attention, is part of what makes ice play so much fun. It also means that it might feel like a bit of a shock and you should listen to your body when it comes to your limits. 

It’s also important to note that ice cubes are only safe for using externally (except, of course, for putting them into your mouth). It’s not recommended that you put an ice cube into the vagina or the anus for several reasons. The skin is very sensitive and the ice could stick. It could remove important bacteria from the vagina leading to infection or it could provide your body with an incredible shock. 

Spice Up Your Solo Play 

Whenever it comes to trying something new, it’s always a good idea to dip your toes in while you are alone before bringing it into partnered play. I’m also a firm believer in the fact that your own self pleasure should feel as fun and curious as playing with a partner. After all, masturbation has some great health benefits so you might as well get to it as often as you can. 

Next time that you feel hot and bothered and you need to let off some steam, why not grab a few ice cubes before locking that bedroom door and getting to work on yourself. When it comes to pleasuring myself with ice, and in other solo play, it’s important to remember to tease yourself. It’s easy to just jump right in, get into it, and try to finish as quickly as possible instead of savoring the experience. 

Why not use some ice to tease yourself and turn yourself on? Drag the cube across your skin starting with your arms or your legs. Really focus on the sensation and feel the cold water drip down your skin as it starts to slowly melt away. Build up to moving the ice cube over your chest, circle in slowly towards the nipple and tease yourself for a few moments before you finally get to experience the shuddering sensation of ice moving over your nipples. 

Ice can be very grounding, it keeps you in the present moment and that’s a wonderful thing for sex. The sensation of ice can reduce anxiety and help you to really appreciate the moment. That’s why ice is used for people experiencing panic attacks, to help them relax and come back around into the present moment.

ice-sex
Imagine what transcendental experience these blocks of ice can offer

Bringing Ice Into Partnered Play 

So, you’re ready to add some ice into foreplay with your partner. Maybe you’ve tried it alone and know that you like it, or maybe you feel ready to jump right in. Either way, here’s my advice for making the experience as smooth as possible. 

First, make sure to get the ice out before you want to use it. Straight out of the freezer, the ice will be too cold. Leave it for a few minutes and, if you’re putting it onto another person’s skin make sure to test it on yourself first. Simply slide it across your wrist and make sure that the temperature has come up enough that it’s comfortable. 

Depending on what kind of sensations you want to create, you might like to smooth out the edges of your ice cubes. Depending on your ice cube tray, they might have some sharp edges. If you want to smooth them out to avoid scratching, then just run them under the tap to smooth them out. 

With your partner you can drag the ice over each others skin, like we discussed in the self pleasure section, but you might also like to try using the ice to heighten the experience of giving and receiving oral sex

For this, you might like to start by using the cold sensation indirectly. You can cool your tongue with the ice and then use your tongue without putting the ice directly onto your partner’s genitals. 

If they’re ready for more, then why not hold the ice cube in your mouth and use it to assist you while you go down on them. The hard cold surface contrasted by your soft warm tongue will provide a wide range of sensations to tease and pleasure them. 

Kinky Additions

The teasing of sensation play leads very well to use within BDSM. If you want to play with ice cubes but turn up the heat even more, this is how to make your ice play kinky

The blindfold is one of the most unassuming of all the kink items, along with the ice cube. A blindfold can change experiences entirely though even with how simple it is. Blindfolding your partner before teasing them with ice will make the intense experience even more powerful. When one of our senses is taken away then the other senses become more powerful. This means that the feeling of the ice will become more intense when your partner is not able to see what you’re doing. They will feel deliciously helpless, at the mercy of where and when you choose to push that ice cube into their skin. 

Bondage is another great way to spice up your ice play. Jolting from the cold sensation only to tug helplessly on your restraints is a great way to feel at the mercy of your partner and the things they want to make you feel. Sinking into that helplessness, giving up control, is a great way to make the ice play even sweeter. 

Final Thoughts 

Using an ice cube during sex is one of those experiences that I think everyone should try at least once. Whether it’s a spur of the moment experience on a hot day, or part of a long teasing bondage session with your partner, I think that everyone can get a little something out of playing with ice. 

The sensation can make you feel present, make you give up control to your body and to your partner, as well as help cool you down as you start to get sweaty with pleasure. Remember to stay curious and playful during this treat. Perhaps more importantly, it is important to stay safe and listen to your body. All the advice that I can give you can never be as valuable as the advice that your own body gives you. Only you can know what feels good, what turns you on, and you find that out by trying new things and listening to what your body has to say about it. 

If you like the cool glide of the ice cube on your skin, you might like to branch out into other forms of temperature and sensation play. This could be sipping some hot peppermint tea before going down on someone, to contrast the cold with some heat. Or, you might want to play with feathers and pinwheels. There’s always more to explore, and sometimes the tools you need are already waiting for you in your freezer. So, why not give it a try? 

Diana Nadim
About Diana Nadim

I am Diana, a clinical sexologist, writer and certified sex educator by Everyone Deserves Sex Ed. Based on my own experiences, I've come to believe that while our sexual desires can be a path to greater connection and intimacy, they also reveal our deepest fears, dreams and hopes that we keep hidden in the shadows. With a drive for creating well-researched, sex-positive, and satisfaction bringing sex education materials, I am an expert in creating sexual content that is a page-turner while sneaking in some spicy teachings that are good for the readers. I love passing my sexual knowledge to others through content writing.