Are you scared or nervous losing your virginity? – It is all right, we all have been there at some point in our lives. Whether a girl or a boy, having sex for the first time can be fun and exciting, but it can make you a little shaky or worried, too.
More than anything else, it’s the endless myths that associate sexual intercourse with pain, particularly for women who are having sex for the first time. Yes there might be slight discomfort, however, if you know your body well and have good communication with your sex partner, your first sexual experience can actually be good.
Here are some important tips before you do it for the first time!
Physical and Emotional Readiness
Having sex is a lot more than just physical or biological need of a human body. Doing it for the first time will involve a lot of emotions, feelings and belongingness, provided that you’re doing it with a partner with whom you have an emotional bonding.
Even if there is no love involved, and you are having it with someone on a ‘no strings attached’ basis, there has to be a certain level of trust or chemistry that will lead to better sex. The best way to start is by making a nice, little conversation with your sex partner before you two go into the real deal.
If there is any point where you feel that you might be physically ready for your first time, but you’re not emotionally ready yet, you can always call it off. There is absolutely no need to force yourself into something that might become a regret later.
Always Practice Safe Sex
When emotions are running high between two lovers, there is a possibility that the use of a condom might be overlooked. But you do not want to get pregnant right after you lose your virginity, do you?
There are a number of birth control options these days, but instead of making it more complicated, the easiest way to prevent pregnancy is by using a condom. Even though it is not 100% effective, it is way better than not using it at all. Also, condoms can protect you against a number of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and even HIV.
Practicing safe sex is something that you shouldn’t ever compromise on even after your first time, especially if you are not into a serious relationship and there is a possibility of having sex with different sex partners.
Sexual Foreplay is Important
Remember, it is your first time so the level of excitement will be high. This could mean that you want to quickly dive into the real deal , but that’s not the right way to go about it.
Sexual foreplay helps to release the stress from your mind and body, and get you into a nice physical and mental zone before the sexual intercourse. For a man, it usually means having an erection and for a girl it means getting wet during this time.
Depending on what you or your partner are into, or have talked about, sexual foreplay can take different forms. It could be oral sex, dirty talking, watching porn together or even just making out while feeling each other’s body parts with hands or fingers.
Since this is your first time, a good way is to have a little conversation, followed by caressing and cuddling with your sex partner.
Importance of Lube to Avoid Discomfort or Pain
Whether you are having sex with a male or a female partner, use lube to avoid any sort of friction that could result in discomfort or pain.
Water-based lubes work well and are easily available at stores or online marketplaces. If you plan to use sex toys, have them lubed up, too.
Some lubricants might have a strong, fruity smell which you might not like. Make sure you get the right flavor, or you can buy a flavorless water-based lube.
Take It Nice and Slow
Once you’re both in a nice zone and ready for it, it’s time for the penetration to take place.
It is important that sexual intercourse should be slow and gentle, since you are doing it for the first time and there will be a lot of things that both of you will be learning about your body and your sexual organs. Remember, this is the real deal and this will feel a whole lot different than what you might have felt numerous times during masturbation and solo play.
If you and your partner go too hard too quickly, it might quickly as well. Let him start with slow and gentle strokes, it will help your vaginal muscles to relax and get used to the size and erection of his penis.
Do What Feels Good, Stop When It Doesn’t
Trying out different sex positions, foreplay activities or penetration types can be fun and exciting. However, communication and consent is important.
If there is something that you are not liking, even though it did seem like a fun thing to do earlier, you can ask your partner to stop. And by stop, we do not mean to end the session there, it just means that you two tried something different and it didn’t work out as expected – perfectly all right. There is no reason to feel embarrassed whatsoever.
Sexual drives, fantasies or fetishes vary from one individual to another. There is a chance that both of you might find something exciting, and at the same time there is a chance that your partner might not be liking something that you’re into.
Our Final Word on Having Sex for the First Time
You’re still young and there’s a long road ahead of you – this is something that you have probably heard a few times already.
Well, having sex is no different either. You’re probably still in your teens and you can’t have all the sexual knowledge before having sex for the first time. Yes, do prepare yourself, your mind and your body before you dive into it. However, there should be no reason to regret or feel bad if things didn’t work out as expected.
Being a girl, you might orgasm, or you might not. Being a boy, he might be able to time his ejaculation right, or he might not. Regardless of everything, the key is to enjoy the moment and not worry about what should or shouldn’t have happened.