Having an amazing orgasm is usually the end goal after having a good sex. For some, it is the feeling that makes our body completely relaxed after all the stimulation and foreplay. For others, forced or ruined orgasms is the ‘thing’.
As far as ruined orgasms are concerned, it is a way of getting more sexual pleasure than simply having an orgasm or letting your partner have an orgasm.
Here, we’ll talk about ruined orgasms and how to do it.
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What is a Ruined Orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is a way to stimulate a sexual partner and make him feel aroused, and as he is about to climax, stop the stimulation and let him have a no-sensation sort of an orgasm – or no orgasm at all.
So instead of an euphoric sensation followed by a huge cumshot, there will be an incomplete feeling with slight body shivers and moans of discomfort (the signs or physical reaction varies from one individual to another).
This is commonly found in the BDSM community, where one person dominates over the other and controls everything – the foreplay, the stimulation, the orgasms. The whole point is to give your partner an amazing journey of sexual stimulation and arousal for a while, and then ending it up by giving them ‘nothing’!
How to Have a Ruined Orgasm?
Now that you know what ruined orgasms are all about, let us have look at how to do it with your partner:
Communication is the Key
Whatever kink you’re into, remember that it can only work when your partner is equally into it and is aware of what you’re up to – ruining an orgasm works the same way, too.
Make sure you have good communication and trust level with your partner before and during your ruined orgasm session. Whether it’s you or your partner who is going to take the submissive role, it should be done with absolute consent and mutual agreement.
It is advised to come up and agree upon a safeword prior to this sort of sex play. This can be a way to let the other person know that he or she needs to stop anytime during the foreplay. ‘Banana, Watermelon or
The Build Up and the Foreplay
Once you have communicated everything with your partner and are done with your research, it is time to get started!
Since this type of sex play has a lot do with ‘sexual domination’, it is better to tie up your partner in bed using ropes, or any other place where he or she feels comfortable. If you want to take it to another level, use ropes and gags in a way where there is no comfort right from the start.
Once all set, your entire focus should be on sexually teasing and giving pleasure to your partner through stimulation. Sexual stimulation can be done either by a handjob, blowjob, intercourse, sex toys or one of those vibrating sex machines like a sybian.
Try not to be too fast with the foreplay, as it will make your partner reach the climax stage sooner than both of you would want.
Stop Right Before Climax
While your partner is showing signs of extreme pleasure and you know for a fact that he is about to ejaculate, stop the stimulation right at that point. If your relationship with your partner is relatively new and you aren’t too sure about his timing, it is better to have a safeword for the ejaculation as well. This way he can verbally let you know when he is about to release his cumload so that you can stop at the right time.
If you have done it right, you will see him convulse or slightly shiver that could follow with a bit of moaning as well. These moans will be of discomfort, rather than pleasure.
Is a Ruined Orgasm Gender-Specific?
You might have already noticed that we are mostly using the male gender at the recipient end, well, usually that is how it is. However, there is no restriction or limitation as to which gender has to be the recipient of ruined orgasms.
The only factor that plays a role is that a man would need a refractory period (time needed for a man after an orgasm during which another orgasm is impossible). Women usually do not need time to recover, which is why they can have multiple orgasms.
Due to this, the intensity of discomfort or frustration of ruined orgasms is higher in men than women, as men have to wait much longer before they can experience sexual excitement again.
How is this Different from Edging?
A ruined orgasm is quite different from edging, although you might see some people mixing it up. Edging is a way to delay an orgasm for your partner, rather than not allowing them to have it at all.
Edging extends the time of foreplay, arousal and sexual excitement that a couple may enjoy during sex, particularly when one person is dominating while the other is in submission. Delaying your partner’s orgasm with additional stimulation or sex can result in a much stronger, intense orgasm at the end.
Ruined orgasm is all about lots of sexual stimulation that ends up in a complete halt, right when the other person wants to explode in pleasure.
How is this Different from Forced Orgasms?
As the name suggests, a forced orgasm is part of sex play where the dominant partner ‘forces’ the submissive partner to have an orgasm, against their will or the right timing.
In the BDSM community, a woman is usually at the recipient end of forced orgasms, since it is possible for women to have multiple orgasms. The male partner can use various sexual stimulation techniques to forcefully make their female partner cum repeatedly (dildos, vibrators or other electronic devices are commonly used).
Ruined orgasm, on the other hand, is almost a similar level of stimulation or foreplay, but instead of making the person cum, you completely abandon them when they badly want to have an orgasm!
Why Would Guys Want To Have This?
If you’re not into BDSM, it might occur to you as to why a guy would not want to have an orgasm after sexual foreplay? Well, there are a number of reasons for this.
A lot of men like to be dominated by their female partner and give the control of their body to them. For some, this is a way to express their sexual or even romantic feelings towards a partner, even though it involves domination and submission. Since most of BDSM sex plays involve a high level of trust between partners, this can be a sign of letting the other person know that you completely trust them.
Moreover, it is a way to spice up your relationship by adding new and exciting ways to achieve sexual pleasure, or in case of ruined orgasms, let your other partner get sexually aroused with your discomfort and frustration.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you and your partner enjoy and get sexual pleasure out of. Once you’re both aware of each other’s sex fantasies, there is no reason to hold back!